Here are the winners:
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
>
> 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
>
> 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
> 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
>
> 11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
>
> 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
>
> 13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
>
> 14 Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
>
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
>
> 3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> 4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by Proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
> 15 Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Reblog: Redefined Words by Changing a Letter
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
You made me laugh so hard and that is s good thing. 😁
I think I will use the word ‘igoranus’ today in some appropriate way. ❤️
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Several politicians come to mind with ignoranus and bozone. Glad you liked it. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Author DC Gilbert and commented:
These are really very humorous! And, really tickled the upper end of my humerus!
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These are great! I had to share!
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Thanks. Much appreciated. I think there are some politicians that resemble ignoramus and bozone.
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Words like these are all over the place once you start looking:
CARBUNGLE — That happens when your father’s brother tries to get into the wrong car in the parking lot.
SCATTISH — Your uncle from Glasgow is afraid of cats.
I am a terror with typos, so these things self-generate every time I sit down at the keybard.
KEYBARD? — Wasn’t he the guy who wrote our poetic but un-singable national anthem?
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Good ones, Rolig. Thanks for commenting.
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Great humor! Thank you very much for sharing it.
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Glad you liked them, Salsadancer.
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Really funny!!!!!
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Glad you liked it.
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Another year. Another great list.
Especially now, like when we’re all you know, like, in Karmageddon!
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Good one.😄
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Very good, some genuine LOL lines there.
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Glad you liked it, Roy.
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Very funny. My own contribution is Lockdawn. That feeling when you wake up in the morning and realize you ain’t going anywhere today.
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Very clever, Denzil. It’s becoming a depressingly regular part of life these days. 🙂
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