From GP Cox at Pacific Paratrooper:
Our community has its own TV station, and one I saw on that was, “All the major stores here in Florida have designated hours for seniors to do their shopping – the other 10 people in the state are enjoying having the store to themselves the rest of the day!”
From my friend, the Bionic Blonde:
Heard a doctor on TV saying in this time of Covid-19 and staying at home, we should focus on inner peace. To help achieve inner peace, we should always finish things we’ve started. I searched through my house to find things I’d started but hadn’t finished. I’ve now finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of bourbon, a bodle of Balleys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminum scripshun, and a bocks of choclet. U haf no idear how feckin fabulus I feal rite now! Sned this to all yur frends who need inner peas. An telum u luvum. And two, hash yer wands. Stay saf avrybobby!
From Celia at Fig Jam and Lime Cordial:
ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
“Are – my – test – results – back?”