Doing the Right Thing, Even When We Don’t Want To

Suck it up, Buttercup.

I had company this past weekend which left me tired, more than ready for the visit to be over, and arguing with myself that it is better to suck it up and do the right thing.

This person was invited and stayed from Thursday to Monday. We did a lot of local things which I knew the person would enjoy. We paid for everything, except lunch on Sunday–which the person offered to pay for. We each had a salad and an alcohol drink (1 wine and 2 gin and tonics), and shared an order of french fries. The bill came to about $65 which the person paid in cash.

The only reason I know this is because the waitress followed us into the ladies’ room saying that person had left $65 for a $75 dollar bill. (This is a place we go to often, I know the waitress, and this has never happened before.) Fortunately I had a $10 and some some $20s in my purse so I gave the waitress $30 to pay the rest of the bill and a nice tip for her troubles. I never said a word about this to the person (although I wanted to on several occasions–but what purpose would it have served?)

Today, I received a supposed comedy sketch (which I am guessing is from Monty Python) in an email. Some people thought it was hilarious but I found it as leaden as trying to run in metal shoes. I deleted it before the end and felt since others like it, no one wanted the benefit of my opinion to the contrary. (Again what purpose would it have served?)

Have you ever had to hold your tongue, suck it up, or force yourself to stay quiet because the incident was not important enough to cause an argument or hurt someone’s feelings?

18 thoughts on “Doing the Right Thing, Even When We Don’t Want To”

    1. Depending upon the percieved offense and the importance of the group, it may not be worth it. I hate to be repeatedly taken advantage of though–unless the person provides comparable value by friendship or service or wonderful attitude. I once worked with a woman who would always willingly and cheerfully clean up whenever we had a party. You can’t pay someone to do that so it was always my pleasure to treat if we went out.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. This post triggered a lost memory for me. We were out for a meal with another couple. I paid, but our companion male checked the bill and calculated the tip. Only when I noticed the disappointment on the waiter’s face when I went up to the bar to settle up did I realise that the tip was particularly mean. I silently added some more and said nothing. Later my wife told his wife. She replied that he was a notoriously mean tipper.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m not crazy of people like that, especially if service is good or it is a place we regularly visit. Years ago, when most offices still had admin assistants, we had one who was very good at her job and always thought that because she earned less than the rest of us, she shouldn’t have to pay for her drinks, any shared appetizers or the tip. Since she provided good service, I was normally happy to subsidize that part of her meal , when we all went out to lunch together.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. The quick answer to your question is ‘yes’, but I usually adopt the adage of “If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all”. That may say sound like a bit of a cop-out, but I also reckon that there’s “more than one way of skinning a cat”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GP, She can be like that. After last year’s visit where she would take almost all of the ice out of the automat ice maker collector for her Tetras bottle of tea, when she asked this year if she could turn on our ice maker. I had to tell her she could but please do not take more than half of the ice in the bucket. This year there was enough ice for everybody.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Since I’ve grown older, I have learned to ask myself “How is saying this going to help the situation?” Often, I conclude that expressing annoyance doesn’t help, especially in the thick of the event that triggers it. On the other hand, I’ve also concluded that life is too short to spend much time with annoying people. I like how you balance people’s negative quirks with their positive qualities and decide how to deal with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Luckily for the restaurant, you had a waitress instead of a waiter, otherwise following you into the ladies’ room may have resulted in you suing the place for employing a pervert. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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