A Salt on My Senses

Posted on by equipsblog 
The waves tried to rip us apart
as we clung  together
in one final embrace
on that long ago beach

The taste of salt coated my lips and tongue
 salt water tears stung my eyes
Drying salt abraided my 
skin and clothes
or was it the sand?

The wind tore your final words
from my ears.
Did you whisper
"I'll love you forever"
or 'I'm leaving forever"?

Published by equipsblog

Writer and oenophile in training

18 thoughts on “A Salt on My Senses”

  9. JeanMarie sent me an email with some unsolicited advice which I thought was good enough to share.
    I’m emailing this comment to you rather than posting it online because it contains the dreaded “UA” (unsolicited advice). EEP!
    I really like the poem – except for the final stanza. It takes away some of the impact of the poem. The iconic photo from the film is enough. Even if the reader is not familiar with the film, the poem captures the essence of picture which is the key to a good ekphrastic poem. The artwork is a jump off point, and the poem shouldn’t be just a description of it, even if it’s a poetic description. Ekphrastic poems can be about abstract artwork.
    This really is good. I mean, what a line: Fantastic!

    The wind tore your final words

    from my ears.

    Thanks JeanMarie. The picture would make a better ending than the words. 😉

    Like

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