Philosophers of the Century

From a forwarded email/

   

  Philosophers of the Century
. ~ Jean Kerr…
The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.   ~ Prince Philip…
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.  
~ Harrison Ford…
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.  
~ Spike Milligan…
The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree.  
~ Jean Rostand…
Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.    
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger…
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.  
~ Cheers WH Auden..
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.  
~ Johnny Carson…
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.  
~ Steve Martin…
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.  
~
Jimmy Durante…
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.  
~ Betsy Salkind…
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right the first time and you can walk all over them for thirty years.  
~ George Roberts…
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.  
~ Jonathan Winters…
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.  
~ Robert Benchley…
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.  
~ John Glenn…
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.  
~ David Letterman…
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.  
~ Howard Hughes…
I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I’m a billionaire.  
~ Old Italian proverb…
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box

34 thoughts on “Philosophers of the Century”

    1. Interesting. I shared your Italian proverb with my old boss who loves Italian everything and is a wine-swilling, pasta slurping fashionista and she said she did not understand it. Oh well. I loved it.

      Liked by 1 person

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