Philosophers of the Century

From a forwarded email/

   

Philosophers of the Century . ~ Jean Kerr… The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.   ~ Prince Philip… When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.   ~ Harrison Ford… Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.   ~ Spike Milligan… The best cure for Sea Sickness is to sit under a tree.   ~ Jean Rostand… Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.     ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger… Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.   ~ Cheers WH Auden.. We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.   ~ Johnny Carson… If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.   ~ Steve Martin… Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.   ~ Jimmy Durante… Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.   ~ Betsy Salkind… Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right the first time and you can walk all over them for thirty years.   ~ George Roberts… The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.   ~ Jonathan Winters… If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.   ~ Robert Benchley… I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.   ~ John Glenn… As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.   ~ David Letterman… America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.   ~ Howard Hughes… I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Actually, I’m a billionaire.   ~ Old Italian proverb… After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box