Funny Sports Quotes

From a forwarded email

Classics.

1) Don Meredith, Dallas Cowboys Quarterback once said: “Coach Tom
Landry is such a perfectionist that if he was married to Raquel Welch,
he would expect her to cook.”

2) Harry Neale, professional hockey coach: “Last year we couldn’t win
at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was
that I couldn’t think of anyplace else to play.”

3) Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver: “Blind people come to the
ballpark just to listen to him pitch.”

4) Doug Sanders, professional golfer: “I’m working as hard as I can
to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just
die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect.”

5) Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: “All the fat guys watch me
and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me
another beer.'”

6) Tommy LaSorda , L A Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not
good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear
them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having
them.”

7) E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee
operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a
midget.”

8) Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an
ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play
tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as
good.”

9) Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry
ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”

10) John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays.
Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one
was pale as a ghost.”

11) Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to
the Atlanta Falcons:”The film looks suspiciously like the game
itself.”

12) Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road,
my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”

13) Paul Hornung, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage
ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn’t work out I didn’t
want to blow the whole day.”

14) Lou Holtz , Arkansas football coach: “I have a lifetime contract.
That means I can’t be fired during the third quarter if we’re ahead
and moving the ball.”

15) Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game: “I won’t
know until my barber tells me on Monday.”

16) Bill Walton, Portland Trail Blazers: “I learned a long time ago
that ‘minor surgery’ is when they do the operation on someone else,
not you.”

17) George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach surveying the team
roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores: “Our biggest
concern this season will be diaper rash.”

18) Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach: “The only difference
between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on
Sunday.”

30 thoughts on “Funny Sports Quotes”

  1. A good collection. We had an excellent cricketer ( Ian Botham) who was out when he knocked his stumps with a swinging leg as he hit the ball. This resulted in sales of a T-shirt bearing a photograph and the commentator’s quotation: “He couldn’t quite get his leg over”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Following on from Derrick’s cricket quote, there’s another famous one supposedly said by the commentator Brian Johnstone in a Test match between England and the West Indies. Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to the English batsman Peter Willey when Johnstone was said to have remarked “ The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”. Those of us who have followed cricket have always believed it to be true, but it could well have been one of those times when it wasn’t, because there’s no official record of it ever being said. Sometimes I would rather live in my own Walter Mitty world rather than the real one.

    Liked by 1 person

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