Category: Word Play

Merriam-Webster Homophone Quiz

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If you know what I am writing/righting/riting/ about then you know what I am up to/too/two. It’s a homophone quiz where you have two or more words that sound alike but are spelt differently and have different meanings.

The quiz is not too difficult (or is that to difficult or two difficult?)

I missed the first one because I selected the wrong spelling and I missed the second one (which I knew) because I ran out of time.

Clever Words for Clever People

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From an email.

1. ARBITRAITOR

A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s

2. BERNADETTE

The act of torching a mortgage.

3. BURGLARIZE

What a crook sees through

4. AVOIDABLE

What a bullfighter tries to do

5. EYEDROPPER

Clumsy ophthalmologist

6. CONTROL

A short, ugly inmate.

7. COUNTERFEITER

Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

8. ECLIPSE

What an English barber does for a living.

9. LEFT BANK

What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.

10. HEROES

What a man in a boat does

11. PARASITES

What you see from the Eiffel Tower

12. PARADOX

Two physicians

13. PHARMACIST

A helper on a farm

14. POLARIZE

What penguins see through

15. PRIMATE

Remove your spouse from in front of TV

16. RELIEF

What trees do in the spring

17. RUBBERNECK

What you do to relax your wife

18. SELFISH

What the owner of a seafood store does

19. SUDAFED

Brought litigation against a government official

20. PARADIGMS   

Cents

Just Because Day–August 27

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I needed a blog topic: Just Because Day provided both topic and a reason to celebrate.

Just Because Day should not be confused with Operation Just Cause– the US invasion of Panama Dec 20, 1989 – Jan 31, 1990.

In the late 1950s, Joseph J. Goodwin of Los Gatos, California created Just Because Day. It began as a family holiday and grew into an annual celebration across the United States.

just-because-its

Here is what I’m going to do today

  1. Go  to the Barnes and Noble Cafe to buy and eat a salted caramel cookie
  2. Take a bag of clothes and books to Good Will
  3. Follow a country road I have never driven before
  4. Spend at least an hour reading or listening to one of the three library books I have checked out
  5. Do something nice for my husband
  6. Go shopping for something other than groceries or necessities–maybe even buy something.

What are you going to do today, just because?

 

Lend Me Your Ear

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When I was born  they helped me hear

The original function of the ear.

Next, they helped hold back my hair

so my eyes could glance, or see, or stare

Earbuds were inserted  for music and song

Before Bluetooth cell phones came along

Then vanity was added on to hearing

When I pierced them  and wore earrings

Next came glasses to better see

Letters no longer clear to me

Now that masks are daily wear

My ears have more than they can bear

Hearing aids not yet required

Nor or they as yet desired.

 

 

 
Virus Outbreak New York

Knock Knock, Whose There

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Knockers–Door Knockers

Door Knockers

Knockers- Women’s Breasts

Knockers well endowed

Tommy knocker (folklore)

A mythical creature, like a brownie or leprechaun, believed to live in underground tunnels; later associated with dead miners.

tommy knocker

Knocked up–Being with child, pregnant

pregnant women

Knocked down-to strike to the ground with or as if with a sharp blow: fell. 2: to dispose of (an item) to a bidder at an auction sale. 3: to take apart: disassemble.

Knock-off-a copy that sells for less than the original broadly : a copy or imitation of someone or something popular. To stop doing something.  To do something hurriedly or routinely. To kill or rob.

Knock around or about-Travel without a specific purpose.  Happened to be present.  Spend time with somebody.

Who is Your Influenzer?

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Kally at Middle Me just blogged about Mega, Macro, Micro, and Nano influencers.

She distinguishes them by size:

  1. Mega-influencers: 1 million and above followers
  2. Macro-influencers: 100,000 to 1 million followers
  3. Micro-influencers: 10,000 to 100,000 followers
  4. Nano-influencers: 10,000 followers or less

Having a pun intended propensity, I started to think about MAGA influenzers.  Donald Trump tops the list.  He has a very rabid fan base that may be shrinking as Coronavirus reality conflicts with what the base would prefer to believe.  The A(list) zone is Arizona.

It seems ironic that the influenzers that think that pandemic is a hoax now have a  mask they can wear proudly.

MAGA mask

Wikipedia  provides some history on the phrase

“Make America Great Again” (often abbreviated as MAGA) is a campaign slogan used in American politics that was popularized by Donald Trump in his successful 2016 presidential campaign. Ronald Reagan used the similar slogan “Let’s make America great again” in his successful 1980 presidential campaign.

Bill Clinton also used the phrase in speeches during his successful 1992 presidential campaign and again in a radio commercial aired for his wife Hillary Clinton’s 2008 presidential primary campaign. Democratic pollster Douglas Schoen has called Trump’s use of the phrase as “probably the most resonant campaign slogan in recent history”, citing large majorities of Americans who believed the country was in decline.[1][2] The slogan has become a pop culture phenomenon, seeing widespread use and spawning numerous variants in the arts, entertainment, and politics, and used both by those who support and oppose the presidency of Donald Trump.

 

 

Computer Jokes for the Non-technically Inclined

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More from Bonnie Brown

 Computer jokes for the computer whizzes and for those not so technically inclined.

Whoever said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result has obviously never had to reboot a computer.

•••

What is the most commonly told lie in the universe?
“I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions.”

•••

It will always annoy me that product designers at Apple failed to call their phone chargers ‘Apple Juice’.

•••

Thanks to autocorrect, one in five children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.

•••

Recording on an Australian tax helpline:
“If you understand English, press one. If you do not understand English, press two.”

•••

Why did the computer arrive at work late?
It had a hard drive.

•••

I was scrolling through Facebook in church. The usher walked past and whispered, “You’d better be texting Jesus.”

•••

The best part about naming your children is you don’t have to add four numbers and three capital letters to make sure the name is available.

•••

While waiting at a bus station on a chilly winter morning, the woman beside me mentioned that she made a lot of mistakes when trying to send texts in the cold. 

I nodded knowingly, “Yes, it’s an early sign of typothermia.”

•••

A computer science student was studying under a tree when another student pulled up on a flashy new bike.
“Wow, where did you get that bike?” asked the first student.
“While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl on her bike pulled up next to me,” he explained. “She took off all her clothes and told me, 

‘You can have whatever you like’.”
The first student replied, “Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn’t have fitted you.”

•••

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

•••

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. That’s a hardware problem.

•••

The oldest computer can be tracked back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple, but had very limited memory space, just one byte. Then everything crashed.