Reservations at Easter Brunch

multiplying like bunnies

She kept stroking his left arm
While he grasped her right thigh.
No words were exchanged,
It was done on the sly.

They were getting quite hungry
But not for the food.
I guess all this foreplay
Was setting the mood.

Was she a lovely new bride,
He an eager young groom?
Instead of brunch reservations
Just reserve a room.

Advertisements

Lines of Twitter

With apologies to those who like Sounds of Silence.

 

desert-drought-dehydrated-clay-soil-60013

Hello Donald, my old Friend
I’ve come to ask you once again
Because you’ve been busy tweeting
When you really might be sleeping
And the anger that is roiling through your brain
Still remains
Within the lines of Twitter.

In restless tweets, you fan the hate
Of the oppressed and desperate
Using only your cellphone light
You vent your rage into the long dark night.
When your ego’s soothed by the hit of a thousand likes
Like lightning strikes
For those lines of Twitter.

I turned on Fox news then I saw
A dozen pundits, maybe more
Pundits talking without speaking
Pundits hearing without listening
People writing facts that no one ever shares
No one dares
Disturb the lines of Twitter.

“Fools, “said I, “You do not know,”
Alt facts like a cancer grow.”
Hear my words that I might explain
You shake your heads and just complain
My pleas like silent raindrops fell
Into the well
To vanish in the lines of Twitter

And his followers clapped and cheered
To his cheap shots and his jeers
While the Dems say they might impeach
No agreement can be reached
And the words of the Mueller report
Are free to read on Nook
If you look
Beyond the lines of twitter.

The Ballad of Ginger and Trapper

Golden Retriever

Trapper was a golden retriever

Ginger

Ginger was a German wiimeraner.

Ginger and Trapper met in Seattle.

Immediate best buds, seldom a battle

Trapper was a dog, Ginger a gyp

Most of the time, they seemed joined at the hip

Until the day Ginger went into heat

Trapper soon learned that it was best to retreat

He didn’t seem interested, no sex on his mind

He didn’t even try to sniff Ginger’s behind.

Two weeks later, the gyp thought he’s the one

Demonstrating on Trapper how to get the job done.

He was the dog her dreams, she wanted his pups.

Trapper didn’t know to what she was up.

At end of her heat, she no longer cared.

When he laid down his best moves, he found her teeth bared.

His owner was pleased when Trapper finally found out

What being a boy dog should be all about.

Although, Trapper and  Ginger never got bred,

“You’re all male, Trapper,” his owner happily said.

Relief filled his owner, put a smile on his face

To find Trapper did things at his own pace.

 

Hoppy National Beer Day-April 7, 2019

Toward the end of Prohibition,

Many people had ambition

To make a legal beer and sell it too.

Though, no stronger than 4.0

T’was better than nothing don’t you know.

So celebrate and have yourself a brew.

beer mugs

 

From the National Beer Day webpage:   On April 7, 1933, President Franklin Roosevelt took the first step toward ending Prohibition and signed a law that allowed people to brew and sell beer, in the United States, as long as it remained below 4.0% alcohol by volume (ABV).  Beer drinkers celebrated and were happy to be able to purchase beer again for the first time in thirteen years.

April 7, 2019, Poem 7

 

A Palindromic Magic Square for the Year 2019

Although math is a language, it has never been one I am fluent in. This ‘magic’ square is never something I could come up with and it is interesting.

Learn Fun Facts

2019 palinhdromic magic square.png

The above 4 × 4 magic square only has the digits 2, 0. 1, and 9 (from the year 2019) and as a bonus, the four digits in its upper-left section form “2019”. It has a magic sum of 132. This means the sums of the magic square’s columns, rows, and diagonals are all equal to 132. It is also a semi-pandiagonal magic square since it contains some of the features of a pandiagonal magic square, namely:

  • Partial Panmagic Square — The 2-2 broken diagonals (on both sides) of this magic square have a magic sum of 132 as well. For this to be a panmagic square, the 3-1 broken diagonals should also be equal to the magic sum, but unfortunately, this magic square does not have that property. From here on, note that the sum of the cells with identical background colors is equivalent to the magic sum, which…

View original post 250 more words

Not What It’s Cracked Up to Be

crack plumberAccording to a September 30, 2014 Cosmopolitan article by Charles Manning on “12 Types of Cleavage and They Say About You”  rear or butt cleavage

3. Butt Cleavage: You’re ambitious.
Yeah, your butt is showing. So what? You’re focused on what’s in front of you, not what’s behind you. Let ’em stare. You’re moving forward and all they can do is follow in your wake.

I went to the gym today and saw a lot of butt cleavage.  It ain’t purty.

On the butt-meter scale,

Nice firm, rounded butt in tight jeans – 5 points

Saggy or flat butt – 3 points

At least I know you wear underwear – 1 point

Hint of cleavage – 0 points

Hairless butt cleavage- minus 1 point

Hairy butt with clean cleavage –  minus 2 points

Hairy butt with embedded dirt (I hope that’s all it is) – minus 10 points.

Crack kills.

Butt crack disgusts.

Jokes cracked can entertain.

Farts cracked can empty a room.

He who flies upside down and crashes plane dies with crack-up.  (Fake Chinese cookie fortune.) crack pool guy--no cleavage