Five Gym-Related Signs You May Be a Geezer or Geezerette

  1. elder fitnessYou argue with your body that it really can do that 30 minutes on the reclining bike.  Your leg begins to mutter about 10 minutes in and by 20 minutes, it complains loudly that the effort is too much (even though you have not increased the resistance past level 1.)  It was able to do up to level 4 two days ago and it has not been injured or abused. You ignore the leg cramp and sigh heavily when the clock shows that 30 minutes have trickled away.
  2. Your body does not want to get down on the floor for stretches (and you don’t woman kneelingwant to let gravity help you get down there more swiftly.) You grab the exercise mat and lie it on the floor, staring at it resentfully.  You know all of the grumbling parts will feel better once they are stretched, but they show no interest in making that happen.  So you bend at the waist (fortunately the hamstrings still cooperate, even if the knees are sulky), touch the floor and walk them forward until you can drop your knees to the mat.  It ain’t purty, but it serves a need.
  3. A new body part joins in the argument about which part is aching the most.  Usually, it’s the knees that complain, but today the right hip feels entitled to join in.  Nothing makes it happy.  Talk about a whiner.
  4. Any piece of equipment in a pinch.  Once the stretches, leg lifts, and the world’sGlute Ham machine. briefest plank position hold have been accomplished, you have to stand back up.  Fortunately, you are next to the Glute Ham developer so it allows you to pull/push yourself up from a kneeling position.

5.  Doing the actual exercises is the easy part.  Getting situated in the machine and adjusting the seat and weight are the hard parts.  Getting out is almost as difficult as getting in.

hip abductor machine
This is one of the most difficult to navigate getting in and out.

Use It or Lose It. Let’s Get Physical

old people exercisingIf you take something for granted, eventually it disappears, grows disenchanted or resentful, or gives up.  Whether it’s your job, friends, talents, or spouse, you need to spend time and effort on whatever you have taken for granted. In my case, it’s my aging body.

Over the years I have had a yo-yo relationship with exercise.  When I am more committed to moving and watching my diet, my weight goes down and my fitness level goes up.  When I am less committed, the opposite happens.

When I was in my twenties and thirties, if I increased my exercise routine, my muscles would stiffen overnight.  The next morning was a progression of grunts and stretches to work the kinks out.  As I got into my forties, it would take two days for the stiffness to make itself known.  However, I could usually work the kinks out within a day or two.

Now, stiffness and pain are a daily part of being alive.  Right after I ride the bike for a half hour and do some yoga stretches, things feel loose for about twenty minutes before they tighten up again.  Even something as basic as going up and down stairs, now required the railing and the thought “Do I really want to do this?”

Daily exercise has become a requirement to do things you always thought you could take for granted like walking long distances or taking the stairs rather than a ramp or an elevator.  On the plus side, I can still bend over and touch the floor without any problem.  (Good flexible back).  On the negative side,  I can’t squat lower than having my knees parallel to the floor  I have not been able to get my heel up to touch my butt in several years. Child’s pose–forget it.  If I don’t use, I will lose it.  Right now I don’t want to lose anything but weight.

 

 

More word musings

Could devoted mean you have lost the right to vote?   That surely isn’t a form of love.

Is revolting charging your phone twice or getting hit twice by a lightening bolt?  When you say he or she is revolting, do you get a charge out of saying it?

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Californians don’t screw n a light bulb, they are more likely to screw in a hot tub….

If you change coarse, do you move from one uncouth individual to another?

Bathroom sign--long waitTweety bird on calorieswhen-things-start-to-happen

Does hare restorer, increase the rabbit population or are they already populating rabbitly?

Why do they call short heels kitten heels?  I’ve heard of Puss in Boots but never Kitten in Heels.  Bet you have met a few heels of the none shoe variety.

Notice how many female problems start with men–menstruaton, menopause… Mental problems are issues for both sexes.

 

To diet or not to dye it?

She looks different.  Has she cut or colored her hair?  Maybe she’s lost weight. I’m not really sure.

Diet – (noun) type of food a person normally eats  or a special course of food one restricts oneself to in order to lose weight or for medical reasons.  (verb)-to restrict oneself to small portions

Dye it – (noun) a natural or synthetic substance used to change or add color to a substance.  (verb)–to add orchange the color of something by soaking it in a dye impregnated solution.

When trying to lose weight, diet alone if often not enough to achieve or maintain the Tweety bird on caloriesweight loss.  Many specialists recommend that diet be combined with exercise.  Ten thousand steps per day is one measure of exercise that is currently popular. Others recommend sports, cardio, strength and flexibility classes, yoga, walking a pet, having an exercise partner, listening to peppy music, etc.  Some people can lose weight and burn calories by simply being fidgety. For most of us it requires time, effort and sweat equity.

Funny how we need to buy special equipment, shoes, clothes, and accessories before we can completely commit to whatever our new exercise regime may be.  It seemed so much easier when we were kids and took off running whenever we got the opportunity.

If black is supposed to make you look thinner, then why does dark hair often make your skin look older?  If a little fat in your face helps puff out the wrinkles, why is looking thinner supposed to make you  look younger and more youthful?

Do you remember when you put a single color in your hair or maybe a blend of colors to achieve a more “natural” look?  Hair can now be striped, dipped, baliaged (for that sun-kissed look).  People dye their hair on all parts of their bodies from heads to pubes.  Sometimes they dye their pet’s fur to match their own or dye their hair to match their pets.

 

What do you do to look younger or feel healthier?  Have you gone on a diet or dyed your hair?   Has your hair suffered because of the diet you have been on?  Join the conversation and share whether you dyed it or diet?  Was it successful?