Not What It’s Cracked Up to Be

According to a September 30, 2014 Cosmopolitan article by Charles Manning on “12 Types of Cleavage and They Say About You”  rear or butt cleavage

3. Butt Cleavage: You’re ambitious.
Yeah, your butt is showing. So what? You’re focused on what’s in front of you, not what’s behind you. Let ’em stare. You’re moving forward and all they can do is follow in your wake.

I went to the gym today and saw a lot of butt cleavage.  It ain’t purty.

On the butt-meter scale,

Nice firm, rounded butt in tight jeans – 5 points

Saggy or flat butt – 3 points

At least I know you wear underwear – 1 point

Hint of cleavage – 0 points

Hairless butt cleavage- minus 1 point

Hairy butt with clean cleavage –  minus 2 points

Hairy butt with embedded dirt (I hope that’s all it is) – minus 10 points.

Crack kills.

Butt crack disgusts.

Jokes cracked can entertain.

Farts cracked can empty a room.

He who flies upside down and crashes plane dies with crack-up.  (Fake Chinese cookie fortune.)