You Can’t Talk Sense to Your Inner Toddler

About age two, that previously sweet baby learns the power of the word NO! It may be followed by “Don’t touch that”, but once the child hears NO, he realizes that he must obey or refuse. Refusal seems the more instinctive reaction.

Fast forward to the teen years. NO returns from both parents and teens. Whereas the toddler results to tantrums, teens yell and slam doors or they go passive/aggressive with sighs, rolling eyes, and shoulder shrugs. “Whatever” becomes a standard response of disdain.

Then came the pandemic which has turned many adults back into teens or toddlers. “You’re not the boss of me,” they metaphorically shout to anyone that recommends or mandates ideas ranging from masks and social distancing to getting a vaccine. Instead of the passive/aggressive response of many teenagers, they respond with fistfights on airplanes, sermons from pulpits and government buildings, and disregard for previously respected scientists and medical professionals. The only winner is the mutating COVID virus.

I'll do it when I'm ready
You're not the boss of me
You'll never be able to show me
 things I don't want to see

Why do you always tell me
the things I need to do?
You can talk till the cows come home
you're message will not get through.

I'd rather die than listen
to things I know aren't true
At least what I read on the Internet
is not advice from you.

This is supposed to be
the land of the brave and the free
So I'll keep on doing just what I want
'cause you're not the boss of me.

I'll continue doing
what I believe is best
Even if it kills me
But I'm willing to take that test.


They Walk Among Us

    A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge (still working),

he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’

 For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.

He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.

So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’

 The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!

————————————-

One day I was walking down the beach with

Some friends when someone shouted…..

“Look at that dead bird!”

Someone looked up at the sky and said…”Where?”

They walk among us!

—————————————————–

While looking at a house, my brother asked the

Real Estate agent which direction was north because

he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east

and has for some time. She shook her head and said,

‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff……’

They Walk Among Us!

——————————————–

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,

when we overheard an admin girl talking about the

sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said

she “didn’t think she’d get sunburned

because the car was moving.”

They Walk Among Us!

————————————

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car

Which is designed to cut through a seat belt

If she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

————————————————-

                                                                     I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry

because she was a trained professional and

said I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me,

‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…

They Walk Among Us!

————————————————

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man

ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook

asked him if he would like it cut

into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time,

then said “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry

enough to eat 6 pieces.”

They Walk Among Us!

—————————————————–

 And last, but not least:

Dumb as a box of Rocks

 A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a prominent politician happened to appear. He took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

 ‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ he asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’

 ‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied. ‘You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.’

 ‘What sort of question?’ he asked.

 Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?”

 He thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.’

                                                                                                              Sadly, they walk among us! And, MORE sadly, hold high offices!!!

—————————————————–

Traffic Camera

 A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat belt!!!

The Buck Moon is July 23

During the full moon of July
do you have a desire to run around
buck naked
playing tag with the  moon beams?

Or does your scalp start to itch
as your grow your antlers
in preparation for the 
annual fall rut?

Are you a polished lady's man
that would have been called a buck
during Regency England?

Or are more of a frontier kind of guy
with fringe hanging long
on your buckskin
breeches and jacket?

Mayhaps you are dead
and and have already kicked the buck-
et?

The Antiquarian Contrarian





He was a man of firm opinions
he felt compelled to share,
strong in his belief
that was why God set him there.

He worked in a library
though not as a librarian
instead his co-workers knew him
as the contrarian antiquarian.

His many years had convinced him
that only his views were right
He'd never learned compassion
but he never missed a slight.






July is National Ice Cream Month

Back in 1984, President Ronald Reagan designated July as National Ice Cream Month, and the third Sunday of the month as National Ice Cream Day–which is this Sunday, July 18.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream and that is pretty much the same thing.

What is your favorite flavor ? Mine is currently salted caramel.

“Ice Cream” by Sean MacEntee is licensed under CC BY 2.0

NATIONAL

ICE CREAM

MONTH

neapolitan

ocolate

erry ch

strawb

illa

an

v

Don’t Write My Name on that Restroom Wall

In this case, it’s passing my name and contact information around to other charitable or philanthropic organizations. Email and snail mail spam!

With some political and charitable groups it has become multiple daily email requests for funding that is an emergency NOW! With at least one charity it has become snail mail weekly appeals to both my husband and me. (You are spending more on postage than you’ll recoup.) Even if I support your cause once or twice a year, it does not mean I will support you every time you come by with your bucket (since you are dipping in the well too often for it to be your hand).

At best you are wasting your time to send this to me and my time to delete or trash it as soon as I see who it’s from. At worst you are annoying me so much that I feel like never giving you another cent because you show no sense on how often to beseech money from the same source.

Your new name should be Spam I Am
If you called me up, the phone I'd slam
I don't like your constant asking
for help with another emergency tasking
I've reached the point of don't give a damn.

Shambling and Rambling

A bimble seems to be somewhat less arduous than a hike. Here we shamble around the back alleys with the Newfie. “Shamble” perfectly describes the way these big dogs walk. Nelly is pretty good company on a bimble too.

From Audrey Driscoll of Audreydriscoll.wordpress.com

Shamble : (of a person) move with a slow, shuffling, awkward gait.-verb

Shamble : a slow, shuffling, awkward gait – noun

Shambles: 1 archaic : a meat market. 2 : slaughterhouse. 3a : a place of mass slaughter or bloodshed the battlefield became a shambles. b : a scene or a state of great destruction : wreckage the city was a shambles after the bombing. c(1) : a scene or a state of great disorder or confusion an economy in shambles.

Did my life turn into shambles as I aged and my gait slowed and stiffened so that now I shamble rather than stride?

My thoughts now ramble on a lot longer than my morning walks.

As my overall tolerance stiffen with age, so does my tolerance of speakers who ramble on rather than getting to the point.

When was the last time I scrambled after any thing but ordering eggs at breakfast?

They tell you not to play with your food, but it is so much fun to play with your words.

July 6 is International Kissing Day

Kissing has a lot of slang words

  • peck
  • smooch
  • snog
  • smacker
  • osculation
  • canoodle
  • caress
  • embrace
  • endearment
  • buss
“big kiss” by demandaj is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

The Big Kiss was the iconic picture marking the end of World War II, V-J Day in Times Square, a photograph by Alfred Eisenstaedt, was published in Life in 1945 with the caption, “In New York’s Times Square a white-clad girl clutches her purse and skirt as an uninhibited sailor plants his lips squarely on hers”

Some classic Hollywood screen kisses

  • Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” …
  • Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in “Gone With the Wind.” …
  • Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in “From Here to Eternity.” …
  • Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in “Casablanca.”

10 of the Greatest Kisses in Literature

  • Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.
  • Romeo and Juliet in Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.
  • Wendy and Peter in Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie.
  • The moving-picture director and his Star in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

More items…•Feb 12, 2012

Noah Waiting for the Roofers

The rains are coming
Not a flood of biblical proportions
but enough for the meteorologists
to warn
"Turn around and don't drown"
if you see running water 
on what should 
be a street or sidewalk.

Meanwhile, the ark has a hole in its roof
so where are the roofers?
They have said they were coming each
morning this week.
Noah is getting impatient and 
the animals keep running off.




Hit Songs Renamed for Seniors

I got this from my friend Ellie, who lives north of Las Vegas in a very active retirement community. If you are old enough to remember these original hits then you’re old enough to appreciate the new titles.

1960 Hits Renamed
 
Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the “Limbo” as if it were yesterday.

They include:

Herman’s Hermits —
Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker

Ringo Starr — 
I Get By With A Little Help From Depends

The Bee Gees — 
How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?

Roberta Flack— 
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face 

Johnny Nash — 
I Can’t See Clearly Now 


Paul Simon—
Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver


The Commodores —
Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom

Procol Harem— 
A Whiter Shade Of Hair 

Leo Sayer — 
You Make Me Feel Like Napping


The Temptations — 
Papa’s Got A Kidney Stone

Abba—

Denture Queen 


Tony Orlando — 
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall


Helen Reddy — 
I Am Woman; Hear Me Snore 

Willie Nelson —
On the Commode Again

 
 
 
Every day may not be good. . ..
but there’s something good in every day.

Are We the Sum or Some of Our Existence?

I was reading Brother Campfire Personalities Shamelessly Exposed Online where he shares his “hypothesis is this. Folks do not like to have their perception be wrong and are comfortable seeing one or few aspects of a person. It makes some uncomfortable to read a blog that expresses very real and personal thoughts. “

Then he asked:

“Do you have readers from far reaches or an even balance of those you know personally? What is your ratio of readers?

What do you think is the cause? I am very curious to know in the comments.”

Having a punny sense of humor, I wondered if we are the sum (entirety) of our existence or are we the some (part) of our existence? Are we always the same or do we share different facets of our personalities depending upon the situation and the audience?

I have two followers who I know personally. I have a few that I feel like I might almost know through their blogs, there are many I do not know and a few I may not want to know better than as occasional blog followers and commenters.

Say what?

Shine on Strawberry Moon–June 24, 2021

“According to this Almanac, as the full Moon in June and the last full Moon of spring, the Algonquin tribes called this the Strawberry Moon. “The name comes from the relatively short season for harvesting strawberries in the north-eastern United States

This is the last super moon of 2021.

June’s full Moon is always particularly low in the sky, this can make it shine through more of the atmosphere than at other times in the year.

It won’t technically be pink or red but, according to NASA, its low position can sometimes give the full Moon a reddish or rose colour.

Hanging low in the sky
Luscious and full
Seems close enough to touch

O Succulent moon
If I place a plumb ripe strawberry
in front of your shining face
I can imagine
the sweet rich strawberry juice
dripping over my face
and into my mouth
before creating a long pink trickle
down my t-shirt.

“Strawberry moon with reflection” by vpickering is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Why Do We Always Blame the Girl?

I was listening to a CD of 60s hits and heard a pair of Lesley Gore Songs.

From Its My Party and I Can Cry If I Want To:

Judy and Johnny just walked through the door (walked through the door)
Like a queen with her king
Oh, what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearing his ring

From It’s Judy’s Turn to Cry

Aww when Judy left with Johnny at my party (my party)
And came back wearing his ring
I sat down and cried my eyes out
Now that was a foolish thing
'Cause now it's Judy's turn to cry
Judy's turn to cry
Judy's turn to cry
'Cause Johnny's come back
To me

Why does Johnny get a pass for two-timing her and Judy gets blamed?

Do we expect more from our girlfriends than we do from our boyfriends/husbands/lovers? There is an unwritten rule that the man in your life is supposed to be off limits to your girlfriends/sisters/any female close to you. However, why shouldn’t the two-timing jilter also get part of the blame?

Eve has been blamed since she and Adam got kicked out of the garden of Eden. Since then, the evil seductress has been accused of tempting some poor male beyond his feeble attempts to remain faithful. Remember it takes two to tango-no matter what the tangle ensues.

So quit living life like it is a pop ballad where Johnny gets a free pass rather than the kick in the ass he deserves.

National Smile Power Day–June 15

You’ve probably heard that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. But, somehow, over the years, most people tend to forget this. Babies smile about 400 times a day, while the average adult only smiles 20 times. Today is a day to fix this and to smile at everyone you come across.

Benefits from Smiling

  • Improved Mood. Smiling releases endorphins, which helps a person feel happier and more positive. …
  • Pain Relief. …
  • Lower Blood Pressure. …
  • Stronger Immune System. …
  • Stress Reliever. …
  • Better Relationships. …
  • Younger Appearance.

Smile, make them wonder what you are up to.

Although, it may take a while
eventually you may coax a smile
on even the gloomiest guss
who will look better with a smile on his puss

Bathroom Signs Pt 7

Troy Prince as a USS Midway Safety Team member pointing out the three roses he painted on this door for winning 3 separate award for a clean head during Operation Desert Storm in 1991.
Head door for Squadron (VAQ-130). Electronic Attack Squadron 130, also known as the “Zappers”, is an EA-18G Growler squadron of the United States Navy based aboard Naval Air Station Whidbey Island.

Bathrooms at Fairfax Station, VA (below) from Wendy

Zaxby’s (below)–from Wendy

Bathrooms at Occoquan, VA (below)–from Wendy

From somewhere in Key West