News and views to inform or amuse
Halloween costumes have had masks for decades. The traditional plastic masks do not cover the nose and mouth. However these costumes do include the nose and mouth recommendations.
Ninja
Cowboy/rustler
Medical staff
Mummy
Belly dancer with veil
Firefighter
From a forwarded email
| The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.” I whispered back, “Bring pizza.” It’s weird being the same age as old people. When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected. Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter. Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby. Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing! I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow,” that many times in your first session but here we are… If 2020 was a math problem: If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof? I see people around my age mountain climbing, I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’ If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot. I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. Cronacoaster noun: the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like. I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event. I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit. How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought “Well aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?” At what point can we just start using 2020 as a swear word? As in: “That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or “abs-2020-lutely.” You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up. We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. This is the day dogs have been waiting for. They realize their owners can’t leave the house and they get them 24/7. Dogs are rejoicing everywhere. Cats are contemplating suicide. If you are trying to impress me with your vehicle it better be a food truck. |
Email the company.
Last weekend my sisters were in town which meant that our dishes for two, suddenly doubled to dishes for four.
They were good company and helped rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. That is wear the trouble started.
Our two Calphalon sauce pans somehow got forcefully nested in the dishwasher and when we took them out, we could not get them apart.
My attempts:
His attempts:
My sister recommended that we email the company which I did. After I describe our attempts at separation I finished the comment “We are neither stupid or kidding.”
I got an immediate auto-reply from the company saying that would get back to us in a few days but email was currently backed up.
After a few days of no reply from the company, we started looking for replacements pots, but Walmart was out of Calphalon saucepans and only had Calphalon frying pans.
We got home and got a very helpful email reply from the Company,
Hi Patricia,
Thank you for taking the time to contact Calphalon. We apologize if there has been a delay in our reply since we have experienced a backlog of emails. We are working diligently to respond as quickly as possible.
We’re sorry about what happened to your pots. Hope this advise will help.
To help us make Calphalon the best it can be, we would like to ask for your feedback. A brief survey may be sent on your email to rate the service you were provided. Please take a moment and let us know how we are doing.
We wish all the best for you and stay safe. Please feel free to contact us if you have any other questions or concerns.
Sincerely,
My husband tried that but could not get enough contrast between hot water in the bottom pan and ice cubes in the upper pan. He decided to very carefully heat the bottom pan on the stove, being careful not to get the burner too hot. SUCCESS! The pots are now separated
I sent the company an email back telling them their advice was perfect and thanks for getting back to me.
Iridescent hues
Look better on the peacock
Than a lady’s coif.
Remember what they told you in Kindergarten: Do not be a bully and do not throw a temper tantrum. Use your words.
Remember when your mother warned you that your face might freeze like that?
I like coffee but am essentially a coffee wuss. I get the Blonde Coffee at Starbucks to put it in some perspective.
French press coffee usually reminds me of waste water. If the coffee is strong enough to take the enamel off of your teeth or so dark that cream and sugar can not touch it , then I usually order hot tea.
Most restaurants are much more likely to offer you a refill on coffee than they are to remember that you had asked for more hot water so you can make a second cup of tea.
If they are reluctant to provide additional hot water, why do they bring you a single, undersized tiny pitcher of hot water that will not fill your mug.
The coffee and tea cost the same price
To receive the same cupful would also be nice.
Dry rocky soil
transformed by rain into a
place of frail beauty.
Delicate flowers
surround the cactus needles
in Springtime embrace
In Fairfax, Virginia, some Trump supporters held a demonstration outside an early voting place on Friday. A silver haired woman said, “We’re demonstrating because we don’t want America to become Marxist.”
What if Democrats demonstrated at a Trump rally, saying they wanted to keep America from becoming Fascist or totalitarian or a dictatorship? His supporters would be livid and say this was not true.
Both sides are widely separated on how they view the other side aka the Enemy or at best the opposition.
Let’s at least try to retain a modicum of logic when referring to the other political party.
I’ve read dozens of books about heroes and crooks and learned much from both of their styles.–Jimmy Buffet
My favorite sales people like Patrick Jones, of PTFS Liblime, share many of these characteristics. Tonysbologna: Honest. Satirical. Observations, normally offers snarky, humorous rifts on life. This time, Tonysbalogna was spot on with his Three Weird Money-Boosting Tips
He’s a Republican
She’s a Dem
We are us
They are them
We sit in our corners
And stir up a fuss
We’ve each got out labels
No more to discuss
Labels are easy
And help us describe
Who we identify
As part of our tribe
But what if we all
Have more than one label
Would there still be room
At some other table?
From an email.
1. ARBITRAITOR
A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
2. BERNADETTE
The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE
What a crook sees through
4. AVOIDABLE
What a bullfighter tries to do
5. EYEDROPPER
Clumsy ophthalmologist
6. CONTROL
A short, ugly inmate.
7. COUNTERFEITER
Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
8. ECLIPSE
What an English barber does for a living.
9. LEFT BANK
What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
10. HEROES
What a man in a boat does
11. PARASITES
What you see from the Eiffel Tower
12. PARADOX
Two physicians
13. PHARMACIST
A helper on a farm
14. POLARIZE
What penguins see through
15. PRIMATE
Remove your spouse from in front of TV
16. RELIEF
What trees do in the spring
17. RUBBERNECK
What you do to relax your wife
18. SELFISH
What the owner of a seafood store does
19. SUDAFED
Brought litigation against a government official
20. PARADIGMS
Cents
How many times have you gotten through a long trip singing “One Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall?” It was a standard on almost any school field trip. It usually petered out sometime in the Eighties, Seventies or Sixty bottles of beer on the wall.
In honor of National Beer Lover’s Day, let’s raise a bottle, stein, or pilsener glass to the school bus drivers that got us there safely despite our best bad-singing efforts.
Beer and the process of brewing beer goes back to ancient times in cultures the world over. The crafting of beer carries rich traditions, often requiring years of training and experience in the trade while the methods, grains, and flavors continue to change and evolve over time. Becoming a brewmaster can take years of fine-tuning the skills to make an exemplary beer or even an ale. One sure requirement is a love of beer and the craft. Today, fill your glass with an ice-cold, frothy beer and savor every gulp!
Taken from a chain email
WHY SENIORS SO NOT CHANGE THEIR PASSWORDS
WINDOWS
Please enter your new password.
USER:
Cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER:
Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character
USER:
1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER:
50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER:
50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS:
Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER:
50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS:
Sorry, that password is already in use.
I needed a blog topic: Just Because Day provided both topic and a reason to celebrate.
Just Because Day should not be confused with Operation Just Cause– the US invasion of Panama Dec 20, 1989 – Jan 31, 1990.
In the late 1950s, Joseph J. Goodwin of Los Gatos, California created Just Because Day. It began as a family holiday and grew into an annual celebration across the United States.
Here is what I’m going to do today
What are you going to do today, just because?
Mutually
Assured
Safe
Keeping
System.
New twist on getting back up when you fall down. via It’s time
There is more than one way to do it. The technique is important. So is motive.
Some of these are new and some are repeats via On the Lighter Side ~ Bathroom Humor (It’s Not What You Think!)😉
